Why We Sabotage Ourselves - The Psychology of Self-Handicapping

Why We Sabotage Ourselves - The Psychology of Self-Handicapping

“The self-handicapper reaches out for  impediments, exaggerates handicaps,  

and embraces any factor reducing personal  

responsibility for mediocrity…” Steven Berglas and Edward Jones,  

Drug Choice as a Self-Handicapping Strategy Rather than simply contending with external  

obstacles to success, many of us actively  collaborate in our own defeat. We are our  

own worst enemies and our inability to achieve  goals, develop our character, and attain success  

is a result of self-handicapping. In this video,  we explore the psychology of self-handicapping.  

We look at why it emerges and why living a  life constrained by self-erected impediments  

can prove so attractive to some people. The idea that we would deliberately undermine  

our potential may seem absurd. Given the apparent  irrationality of self-handicapping, one may be  

tempted to relegate it to fringe cases of severe  personality disorder. Self-handicapping, however,  

is not only common, but also an effective way  to satisfy deep-seated psychological needs. 

“…self- handicaps consistently have been  demonstrated in empirical research over  

the last decade…Indeed, although some persons  are especially prone to self- handicapping,  

there are certain circumstances that may  lead the perfectly “normal” person to  

engage in self-handicapping. So, if some of the  people tend to self-handicap most of the time,  

and most of the people tend to self-handicap  some of the time, a reasonable conclusion is  

that people must be getting something out of  such maneuvers. What is that something?” 

C.R. Snyder, Self-Handicapping Strategies To understand the benefits of self-handicapping,  

we need to recognize that among life’s primary  motivations is the need to create and preserve  

a reasonably tolerable image of ourselves.  Psychologists refer to this need to think  

well of ourselves as the need for self-esteem:  “By self-esteem we refer to the evaluation the  

individual makes and customarily maintains  with regard to himself: it expresses an  

attitude of approval or disapproval.” (Stanley  Cooper, The Antecedents of Self-Esteem). 

There are both healthy and unhealthy paths to  self-esteem. The healthy path is to strive after  

valued goals and in the process cultivate skills,  competencies, and a more complete character. Or  

as William James puts it, healthy self-esteem is  a product of “perceived competence in domains of  

importance.” To attain self-esteem in this manner  requires hard work over many years, the acceptance  

of risk and sacrifice, and the courage to face  up to situations that may end in failure. 

Many people recoil from the demands and  uncertainties associated with the healthy  

path to self-esteem. Yet the reluctance to  undertake the work of cultivating competence  

does not eliminate our need to think well  of ourselves. When the healthy path feels  

too threatening or arduous, we seek alternative  means of preserving a positive self-image and  

attaining self-esteem. One such alternative  is the strategy of self-handicapping. 

“…people in general employ self-handicapping  strategies in order to protect self-esteem.” 

Frederick Rhodewalt, Self-Handicappers:  Individual Differences 

And as Raymond Higgins continues: “…those individuals who are most likely  

to self-handicap are characterized by  uncertainty concerning their abilities  

and competence.” Raymond Higgins,  

Self-Handicapping: Historical Roots By partaking in chronic substance abuse,  

habitually procrastinating,  identifying as a victim,  

or playing an active role in the maintenance  of anxiety and depressive disorders, we impose  

impediments on ourselves and then invoke these  impediments as excuses for our underachievement.  

We convince ourselves that our lack of effort  and success is not the consequence of cowardice,  

laziness, or personal failure, but of obstacles  beyond our control. Through this mixture of  

self-deception and self-exculpation, we absolve  ourselves of the guilt and regret that accompanies  

a failure to actualize our potential – and  therein safeguard our self-esteem. 

In the words of the psychologists Steven  Berglas and Edward Jones, self-handicappers  

“do not primarily set out to insure failure;  they are willing to accept (probable) failure  

if it can be explained away.” Or as Raymond Higgins continues: 

“Self-handicappers are adept at inhibiting or  masking their achievement-status concerns and,  

like narcissistically disturbed patients, may  appear to renounce striving for success as a means  

of masking their self-esteem concerns.” Raymond Higgins, The Maintenance  

and Treatment of Self-Esteem It is because self-handicapping fulfills  

the defensive purpose of enabling us to avoid the  arduous road to healthy self-esteem, while still  

preserving a tolerable self-image, that the  great 20th century psychologist Alfred Adler  

referred to self-handicapping as the acceptance  of “defeat in the interests of protection.”  

Or as Adler wrote with striking insight: “The patient selects certain symptoms and develops  

them until they impress him as real obstacles.  Behind his barricade of symptoms the patient  

feels hidden and secure. To the question, ‘What  use are you making of your talents?’ he answers,  

‘This thing stops me; I cannot go ahead,’  and points to his self-erected barricade.” 

Alfred Adler, Problems of Neurosis Self-handicapping, however, does more  

than merely preserve a tolerable self-image  in the face of a passive existence; it offers  

another potential reward. If success comes our way  despite the presence of self-imposed impediments,  

our self-image is greatly enhanced. Achievement  in the face of a handicap is interpreted as  

evidence of exceptional ability – proof of  our specialness. After all, if we manage to  

succeed while burdened by limitations, imagine  what we might have accomplished without them.  

Or as H.S. Baker wrote regarding his analysis of  students who avoid studying via procrastination  

and other self-handicapping strategies. “They [often] retreat to endless and [aimless  

conversations], smoking marijuana [or other  activities that avoid studying]. Not studying  

offers two possibilities to maintain the grandiose  self intact. If an exam is flunked, it is only  

due to lack of study, not due to the lack of  ability; if, however, it is passed without study,  

it is doubly delicious, providing a good grade and  “confirming” magical powers of brilliance.” 

H.S. Baker, The Conquering Hero Quits Needless to say, success is unlikely to  

arise from the strategy of self-handicapping.  For the symptoms, illnesses, and self-erected  

barriers we create through self-handicapping make  the challenge of attaining success in life much  

harder than it already is. If we participate in  self-handicapping we all but assure ourselves that  

when we cross into the latter half of life we will  have little to genuinely proud of. It is often at  

this stage that our self-handicapping strategies  start to lose their effectiveness. We can only  

blame external impediments for underachievement  for so long before such excuses become old and  

stale. At the same time, after years or decades  of self-handicapping, those within our social  

circle may grow weary of offering sympathy and  may begin to see how desperately we cling to  

our fake excuses. Without other people to  validate our self-constructed handicaps,  

and facing the emptiness of a meaningless and  mediocre life, the fragile structure supporting  

our self-esteem is left exposed – and may come  crashing down. Or as Edward Jones explained: 

“The apparent paradox of self-handicapping is  that [self-erected barricades] make failure  

more likely. Though failure can perhaps be more  conveniently explained with reference to the  

inhibiting constraint, it is still failure.  And failing or flawed performances can have  

a devastating long range effect on the very  self-esteem that self-handicapping is designed  

to protect.” Edward Jones,  

Self-Handicapping: The Paradox that Isn’t For those whose potential is being crippled  

by self-handicapping strategies, the first step  on the road to recovery is the awareness of what  

we are doing. For the power of this strategy lies  in the fact that, while we cling to self-created  

barriers , through an act of self-deception  we simultaneously avoid awareness of our  

self-sabotage. For as Edward Jones writes:: “Self-handicapping phenomena…are strategic while  

eluding conscious awareness.” Edward Jones, Self-Handicapping:  

The Paradox that Isn’t To bring these strategies into  

awareness and see how we have been complicit in  our own downfall, is often humbling and painful.  

Yet it is only through this difficult coming to  consciousness that there is the possibility of  

putting an end to this pernicious behavior. Or as  Raymond Higgins and Steven Berglas continue: 

“…the maintenance of self-handicapping is  facilitated by our motivated self-deception (i.e.,  

our lack of awareness) in regard to its  enactment.…for self-handicapping strategies  

to be effective, one must include an  element of self-deception . . . so  

as to prevent full awareness of the  purposeful nature of the strategy.” 

Raymond Higgins and Steven Berglas, The  Maintenance and Treatment of Self-Esteem 

We will conclude with a case study described by  Alfred Adler, concerning a thirty-two-year-old man  

whose preferred self-handicapping strategy  involved the use of alcohol. This man was  

intelligent, healthy, and well educated, yet  he lived entirely at the expense of his parents  

and repeatedly engaged in bouts of extreme  binge drinking. Over the course of therapy,  

Adler came to understand that the man’s drinking  served a psychological purpose as it allowed  

him to save face – in his own and others’ eyes –  while living far below his potential. Drunkenness  

and the brutal hangovers that followed, in  other words, functioned less as the cause  

of his failure to launch, than as his secret  and cherished alibi. Or as Adler writes: 

“The usual tensions of every day were  not severe enough to drive him to drink,  

and he was able to use his sober intervals to  display good intentions. … His drunkenness would  

begin . . . when he was expected to go into  society or . . . when there was a demand of  

duty. . . . His evident aim was to be relieved of  every duty and to be supported for his own sake  

alone. Self-centered and wholly lacking social  adjustment, he had nevertheless attained a goal  

of superiority by the elimination of defeat. He  had no defeat in society for he did not enter it;  

no defeat in work, for he had no occupation.  … Subjectively, he triumphed over life,  

lived it upon his own terms entirely; but  objectively, of course, the terms he obtained  

were almost the worst possible.” Alfred Adler, Problems of Neurosis