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Only someone who is well prepared has the opportunity to improvise.”

  • Writer: Marcus Nikos
    Marcus Nikos
  • Apr 11
  • 6 min read

Only someone who is well prepared has the opportunity to improvise.”


“Film as dream, film as music. No art passes our conscience in the way film does, and goes directly to our feelings, deep down into the dark rooms of our souls.”


“I understand, all right. The hopeless dream of being - not seeming, but being. At every waking moment, alert. The gulf between what you are with others and what you are alone. The vertigo and the constant hunger to be exposed, to be seen through, perhaps even wiped out. Every inflection and every gesture a lie, every smile a grimace. Suicide? No, too vulgar. But you can refuse to move, refuse to talk, so that you don't have to lie. You can shut yourself in. Then you needn't play any parts or make wrong gestures. Or so you thought. But reality is diabolical. Your hiding place isn't watertight. Life trickles in from the outside, and you're forced to react. No one asks if it is true or false, if you're genuine or just a sham. Such things matter only in the theatre, and hardly there either. I understand why you don't speak, why you don't move, why you've created a part for yourself out of apathy. I understand. I admire. You should go on with this part until it is played out, until it loses interest for you. Then you can leave it, just as you've left your other parts one by one.”


“I'll tell you something banal.We're emotional illiterates.And not only you and I-practically everybody,that's the depressing thing.We're taught everything about the body and about agriculture in Madagascar and about the square root of pi, or whatever the hell it's called,but not a word about the soul.We're abysmally ignorant,about both ourselves and others.There's a lot of loose talk nowadays to the effect that children should be brought up to know all about brotherhood and understanding and coexistence and equality and everything else that's all the rage just now.But it doesn't dawn on anyone that we must first learn something about ourselves and our own feelings.Our own fear and loneliness and anger.We're left without a chance,ignorant and remorseful among the ruins of our ambitions.To make a child aware of it's soul is something almost indecent.You're regarded as a dirty old man.How can you understand other people if you don't know anything about yourself?Now you're yawning,so that's the end of the lecture.”


“When you feel perpetually unmotivated, you start questioning your existence in an unhealthy way; everything becomes a pseudo intellectual question you have no interest in responding whatsoever. This whole process becomes your very skin and it does not merely affect you; it actually defines you. So, you see yourself as a shadowy figure unworthy of developing interest, unworthy of wondering about the world - profoundly unworthy in every sense and deeply absent in your very presence.”


“I want to confess as best I can, but my heart is void. The void is a mirror. I see my face and feel loathing and horror. My indifference to man has shut me out. I live now in a world of ghosts, a prisoner in my dreams.”


“I hope I never get so old I get religious. ”


“الصداقة مثل الحب، وجوهر الصداقة يقوم على الصراحة والعاطفة والصدق. من المريح أن ترى وجه صديقك أو تسمع صوته بالهاتف وتتحدث معه حول أمور مؤلمة وملحّة، وتسمعه يعترف بما يخشى التفكير به. إن للصداقة لمسة من الحسيّة، فشكل الصديق ووجهه وعيناه وشفتاه وصوته وحركاته ونبرة صوته، كل هذا محفور فى ذهنك، مفتاح سرّى يمنحك الثقة لأن تبوح بنفسك فى صداقة حقيقية.


إن علاقة الحب تنفجر متحولة إلى صراعات لا يمكن تفاديها، أما الصداقة فلا تحتاج إلى الرغبة نفسها من الاهتياج والتعقيم. فى أحيان كثيرة يلتصق الرمل بين أسطحة التواصل القابلة للخدش ويلى ذلك الأسف والصعوبات. أفكر وأقول لنفسى إننى أستطيع تدبير أمورى جيداً دون هذا الأحمق، ثم يمضى بعض الوقت ويظهر إحساس غير سار بفقدان هذا الشخص، إحساس يعبّر عن نفسه بمستويات مختلفة، واضحة أحياناً ومتكتمة غالباً.


الصداقة لا تعتمد على الوعود والاحتجاجات أو على الزمان والمكان. الصداقة غير متطلبة إلا فى أمر واحد. انها تتطلب الصدق، وهو مطلبها الوحيد، ولكن الصعب.”


“I usually take a walk after breakfast, write for three hours, have lunch and read in the afternoon. Demons don’t like fresh air - they prefer it if you stay in bed with cold feet; for a person who is as chaotic as me, who struggles to be in control, it is an absolute necessity to follow these rules and routines. If I let myself go, nothing will get done.”


“Sometimes I go for days without speaking to a soul. I think, “I should make that call", but I put it off. Because there’s something pleasurable about not talking. But then I love talking, so it’s not that. But sometimes it can be nice. It’s not like I sit here philosophizing, because I’ve no talent for that. It’s just this thing about silence that’s so wonderful.”


“Today the individual has become the highest form, and the greatest bane, of artistic creation. The smallest wound or pain of the ego is examined under a microscope as if it were of eternal importance. The artist considers his isolation, his subjectivity, his individualism almost holy. Thus we finally gather in one large pen, where we stand and bleat about our loneliness without listening to each other and without realizing that we are smothering each other to death. The individualists stare into each other's eyes and yet deny each other's existence. We walk in circles, so limited by our own anxieties that we can no longer distinguish between true and false, between the gangster's whim and the purest ideal.”


“The world is a den of thieves, and night is falling. Evil breaks its chains and runs through the world like a mad dog. The poison affects us all. No one escapes. Therefore let us be happy while we are happy. Let us be kind, generous, affectionate and good. It is necessary and not at all shameful to take pleasure in the little world.”


“We make each other alive; it doesn't make a difference if it hurts.”


“To feel. To trust the feeling. I long for that”


“Perhaps we are the same person. Perhaps we have no limits; perhaps we flow into each other, stream through each other, boundlessly and magnificently. You bear terrible thoughts; it is almost painful to be near you. At the same time it is enticing. Do you know why?”


“Faith is a torment, did you know that? It is like loving someone who is out there in the darkness but never appears, no matter how loudly you call.”


“I am living permanently in my dream, from which I make brief forays into reality.”


“I'm planning, you see, to try to confine myself to the truth. That's hard for an old, inveterate fantasy martyr and liar who has never hesitated to give truth the form he felt the occasion demanded. ”


“Death: Do you never stop questioning?

Antonius Block: No. I never stop.”


“I want to stop. I want to stay on Fårö, and read the books I haven’t read, find out things I haven’t yet found out. I want to write things I haven’t written. To listen to music, and talk to my neighbors. To live together with my wife a very calm, very secure, very lazy existence, for the rest of my life.”


“I have always had the ability to attach my demons to my chariot. And they have been forced to make themselves useful.”


“The time between midnight and dawn when most people die, when sleep is deepest, when nightmares are most palatable. It is the hour when the sleepless are pursued by their sharpest anxieties, when ghosts and demons hold sway. The hour of the wolf is also the hour when most children are born.”


“Everyone likes happiness, no one likes pain. But you can't have a rainbow without a little rain.”


“When we experience a film, we consciously prime ourselves for illusion. Putting aside will and intellect, we make way for it in our imagination. The sequence of pictures plays directly on our feelings. Music works in the same fashion; I would say that there is no art form that has so much in common with film as music. Both affect our emotions directly, not via the intellect. And film is mainly rhythm; it is inhalation and exhalation in continuous sequence.”


“I shall remember this moment: the silence, the twilight, the bowl of strawberries, the bowl of milk. Your faces in the evening light.[...] I shall carry this memory carefully in my hands as if it were a bowl brimful of fresh milk. It will be a sign to me, and a great sufficiency.”


“Reality is perhaps not at all what I imagine. Perhaps it doesn't exist, in fact. Perhaps it only exists as a longing.”



“Occasionally I sense an insane wail deep down in the pit, the echo alone reaching me, striking without warning, a child weeping uninhibitedly, imprisoned forever.”


“Here, in my solitude, I have the feeling that I contain too much humanity.”―

“We make an idol of our fear and that idol we call God.”

 
 

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