Men are Romanticists pretending to be Realist, Women are realist pretending to be Romanticists...

What I believe in above all else is Nature...

He gave her the world and she shattered

it a man heartbroken and betrayed sits

in silent agony how many men have lived

this story worshiping a woman believing

love to be pure magic only to watch

their dreams crumble how many warnings

must go

unheeded one man did warn us almost 200

years ago his name was Arthur Schopenhaur

and he tried to reveal a truth most

refused to see schopenhau warned men

about the illusions of love and the

nature of women but his words fell on

deaf ears today we will finally listen

romantic love we're told it's life's

greatest treasure from boyhood men are

fed on tales of knights and princesses

soulmates and happily ever after

we dive in head first hearts on fire

convinced that this woman before us is

an angel who will complete our life love

songs movies and poems glorify it

endlessly when we're not in love we're

chasing it when we are in love we're

consumed by it when we lose love we fall

apart it dominates our conversations and

dreams how could something that feels so

grand be a lie schopenhau asked the same

question in his time

why all this noise why all this crowding

anguish and want why should such a

trifle create so much disturbance he

mused to the love struck man heartbreak

seems like the end of the world to the

outside observer it might look like much

ado about nothing a trifle but

Schopenhaur answers emphatically "It is

not a trifle at all in truth the stakes

of love are the highest in human life

the dramas of love the ecstasy the

jealousy the despair are so intense

because something far deeper is on the

line every love affair whether comic or

tragic has an ultimate aim more

important than all other aims in human

life that aim is life itself the

continuation of the human race this is

why love can feel like heaven or hell

it's why men have moved mountains

written epics and even waged wars for

love schopenhau dryly notes that the

welfare of whole nations has sometimes

been sacrificed to the caprices of love

we sense unconsciously that something

profound hangs in the

balance but

what to find the answer Schopenhau

pierces the romantic veil and exposes

the hidden force behind our passions

schopenhau's philosophy gives us a

shockingly candid explanation of

romantic love beneath all the poetry and

sweetness love is a biologically driven

trick according to Schopenhau every

creature is driven by an irrational

unrelenting force he calls the will to

life an instinctual will to survive and

reproduce this will doesn't care about

art justice or even individual happiness

it only cares about life continuing

itself and it will drive us blindly to

that

end in Schopenhau's words romantic love

is the puppet of the will to life we

think our love is a personal sacred

feeling but in reality it's entirely

based on the desire to reproduce and

propagate the species

love is nature's bait a sweet illusion

to ensure we fulfill our biological

mission reproduction is the ultimate

purpose of every organism and its

strongest instinct schopenhaur writes "So

when you fall madly in love when you

obsess over her above all else it's not

a cosmic destiny at work it's your

instincts sizing up a good potential

mother for your children as harsh as it

sounds nature doesn't give a damn about

your happily ever after it only wants

the next generation schopenhauer paints

a striking picture the individual versus

the

species the genius of the species is at

continual warfare with the genius of the

individual he says it will destroy your

personal happiness without hesitation to

carry out its ends think about that the

very force that makes you feel so happy

in love will just as soon ruin you if it

serves the larger purpose all those

promises of forever nature will break

them the moment they're no longer needed

in this war all is fair even deception

schopenhau reveals the secret nature

achieves its aims by illusion nature

attains her ends by implanting in the

individual a certain illusion by which

something that is only advantageous to

the species seems to be advantageous to

himself this illusion is instinct he

writes "In plain terms we are tricked

into chasing what the species needs

thinking it's what we need we believe we

seek personal joy and love but really

we're unwittingly serving the immortal

life force of nature at our own expense

it's a brutal realization that dizzying

romance its soul stirring love that made

you feel on top of the world it was

never about your happiness it was

nature's ploy to get you to bind

yourself to a woman and create new life

and once that goal is achieved the

curtain often falls the illusion

necessarily vanishes directly once the

end of the species has been attained

notes Schopenhau how many couples have

felt this the passion fading after a

child is born the relationship straining

under the weight of reality the devil's

laughter is heard after the act of love

as Schopenhau quips in that moment of

post-romantic clarity we often feel a

strange emptiness or

sadness modern science even names this

postcoidal trist the sadness after sex

and it happens to men more often than

women schopenhau would say it's no

mystery it's the will momentarily

letting you glimpse the truth of your

condition you have served nature's

purpose and now you wonder what was I

thinking the bliss was brief the

aftermath sobering if love is an

illusion nature uses what about women

themselves schopenhau's view here is

unapologetically blunt even

controversial he saw women as the

instrument of nature's will designed to

entice and ensnare men for the sake of

reproduction it's not a flattering

picture but remember his aim was to

reveal uncomfortable truths schopenhau

observes that nature arms each creature

for its role for women nature's strategy

is a striking effect he writes that

young women are endowed for just a few

short years with an abundance of beauty

and fullness of charm at the expense of

the rest of their

lives why so that during those peak

years they can ins snare the fantasy of

a man to such a degree that he is driven

to commit to her for life a man under

the spell of a young woman's beauty will

rush into taking care of her for a

lifetime signing himself up to provide

and protect schopenhau notes "This is a

step that no man would take if he calmly

considered it rationally

no man in his right mind would volunteer

to bear the heavy burdens of a family

and marriage if he only considered the

matter yet countless men do because they

are not considering it they are

entranced nature has cast the spell well

and once the deed is done nature

economizes just as a female ant after

mating sheds her wings which are now not

only useless but would be dangerous to

her task of breeding so does a woman

often lose her youthful beauty after

producing a child or two that blossom of

charm fades in Schopenhau's era it was

often remarked how a woman's looks

declined post pregnancy the very allure

that captivated him was temporary just

long enough to secure a partner and

procreate

what seemed to a man as eternal beauty

was in Schopenhau's eyes a calculated

bait with an expiration date nature

needed her to attract you it doesn't

need her to stay gorgeous after the

children arrive this sounds terribly

cynical as if women intend to deceive

but Schopenhau is not exactly blaming

individual women he's exposing the

biological program they themselves are

subject to in his view women are wired

differently from men for a reason their

lives from anatomy to psychology are

shaped by the imperative of childbearing

and

rearing one need only look at a woman's

shape to see she isn't built for great

physical or mental labor he wrote "She

pays the debt of life by what she

suffers childbirth care for children and

submission to a man."

Thus nature made her fitting to nurture

the young women are adapted to be nurses

and educators of early childhood and for

that very reason they themselves are

childish foolish and shortsighted in a

word big children all their lives

this provocative claim means that women

in Schopenhau's eyes think and behave

more like children living in the moment

focusing on trivialities and not

engaging in abstract or long-term

thinking they always see only what is

near at hand cling to the present take

the appearance of a thing for reality

and prefer trifling matters to the most

important he says of women men by

contrast mature later but develop

stronger reasoning pondering past and

future building principles and

long-range goals what happens then when

a rational man falls in love he loses

his reason the will's illusion

overwhelms him schopenhau notes that

women usually remain more practical and

sober in judgment they see a man for

what he is with an eye to how he can

serve their needs

but a man in love often cannot see

clearly at

all women see nothing beyond what is

really there while we men if our

passions are roused slightly exaggerate

and add to our imagination Schopenhaur

remarks "The man projects virtues onto

the woman he idealizes her into a

goddess he might overlook her flaws

overrate her qualities and fool himself

that she is different from all others

perfect and pure he is effectively under

a

spell meanwhile the woman guided by

practicality or instinct may simply be

securing a mate who can provide for her

and her future

children to Schopenhau the man lives in

a beautiful dream the woman perhaps in a

more grounded reality this imbalance

sets the stage for great disappointment

schopenhaur goes even further in

describing the character of women as

shaped by nature's ends since women are

the weaker sex physically he argues

nature equipped them not with strength

or fairness but with cunning nature has

not destined them to depend on strength

but on cunning hence their instinctive

craftiness and irreressible tendency to

lie he writes a harsh indictment

ineradicable tendency to lie in

Schopenhau's view women instinctively

use deception to secure advantages much

like a creature using

camouflage it's not that every woman

consciously plots rather nature uses the

woman's ws to achieve its goals on the

other hand men endowed with stronger

reason developed a greater sense of

justice honor and principled

behavior men expect agreements to be

kept sacrifices to be repaid loyalty to

be mutual those are male assumptions

born of thinking in abstract

principles schopenhaur believed women do

not share this same moral earnestness

because their role did not require it

for survival thus he famously wrote the

fundamental fault of woman's character

is the lack of a sense of justice truth

honor

fairness these may be bent or discarded

by a woman when her instincts or

interests dictate says Schopenhaur

whether we agree or not consider what

this means for a man deeply invested in

romantic ideals he expects his beloved

to be an angel of loyalty and virtue as

he imagines her he cannot fathom that

she might deceive him leave him or use

him after all he would never do that to

her right and yet how often do we see

men shocked by infidelity or by a

spouse's coldness in divorce or by gold

digging

manipulations to Schopenhaur the tragedy

is almost predictable the man let his

guard down under the illusion of love

forgetting that nature not sentiment

rules the game the woman consciously or

not follows nature's script attract

secure resources protection ensure

survival and if that means feigning

extra affection or breaking a promise

when it no longer benefits her so be it

the naive man is left devastated

thinking "I never thought she could do

this." He feels utterly betrayed because

he projected his own ideals onto her

ignoring the reality of her nature

this is the dark picture Schopenhaur

paints it is not pretty or polite it's

downright brutal yet as he would argue

it is reality unmasked and seeing

reality clearly is ultimately better

than living in a comforting lie if one

knows what to do with the truth given

this philosophy it's no surprise that

men fall into trap after trap when it

comes to women and love

let's shine a light on these

psychological snares and how

Schopenhau's insight can help spring

them idolizing women men often put women

on a pedestal adoring them as flawless

goddesses under love's intoxicating

effect a man exaggerates a woman's

virtues and ignores her flaws he

convinces himself she's not like the

others she's

perfect this idealization is a trap he

is not loving a real person anymore but

an illusion of his own making when

reality emerges he is crushed

schopenhaur's warning see her as a human

not an angel recognize this tendency to

project perfection as a delusion of your

passion mental

blindness losing

rationality love is often called blind

for a reason schopenhaur compares its

effect to a drug it clouds your judgment

and suspends your intellect a normally

sensible man can make wildly irrational

choices under the sway of romance

marrying hastily abandoning

responsibilities trusting someone he

barely knows this madness is nature's

way of pushing you

forward schopenhaur's warning understand

that when you're madly in love you're

literally not thinking straight

important decisions should wait until

you can think clearly lest you chain

yourself to a

mistake sacrificing self and purpose men

frequently sacrifice their own ambitions

friendships and even dignity to maintain

a woman's affection you might change

your life's course to fit her needs give

up hobbies pour out money all in the

name of love while compromise is part of

any relationship losing yourself

entirely is a grave trap nature doesn't

care if you fulfill your dreams it cares

that you provide for its dreams the

children schopenhaur's warning do not

surrender everything to the

illusion a man must retain his sense of

self and purpose beyond the relationship

or he may have nothing when the illusion

fades believing in the myth of equal

devotion a man often assumes that the

love he gives will be returned in kind

if I am faithful loving and sacrifice

for her she will do the same for me but

if Schopenhau is right men and women

love

differently he may love with an

idealistic devotion while she loves more

practically guided by what is

advantageous to her and potential

offspring when circumstances change say

he loses status or she finds a better

provider her feelings may change as well

the man who believed in unconditional

love is left heartbroken asking "How

could she do this?" Schopenhau's warning

"Don't assume the other side loves with

the same philosophical loyalty you might

her instincts can override sentiment in

plain terms be realistic love can be

genuine but it's often conditional

chasing beauty ignoring its ephemeral

nature men are notoriously susceptible

to visual beauty many have walked into

ruin following a pretty face schopenhau

starkly reminds us that beauty is a

wasting asset nature's temporary

trap a man who marries only because a

woman is stunning will later lament as

beauty unavoidably fades if there was

nothing deeper what remains yet nature

counts on the fact that in youth spring

desire overwhelms foresight schopenhau's

warning enjoy beauty but do not be

enslaved by it know that a lifelong

commitment based purely on a fleeting

attribute is a bargain you're bound to

regret look beyond the surface or be

prepared for disillusionment when age

has its way emotional dependency

perhaps the most painful trap is making

a woman the sole center of your

happiness men can fall into thinking

that without her I am nothing this total

emotional dependence is catastrophic

when that relationship ends the man

finds himself utterly lost his

confidence social life and mental

stability may crumble schopenhauer a

profound pessimist about finding true

happiness in the world would say "No

person should stake their entire will to

live on another." Schopenhau's warning

love but don't lose

yourself retain independence of mind and

heart if your entire world revolves

around her the day she exits and one way

or another given mortality or change

everyone exits your world

collapses nature might want you to feel

like you can't live without her that

keeps you in the game but you can live

on and you must be prepared to these

traps ins snare even the best of us they

all share one root illusion illusions

about who she is what love will do for

you and who you become under love's

spell schopenhau's philosophy tears down

these illusions mercilessly it shows

love not as we wish it to be but as it

is and with that knowledge comes a power

if you choose to use it men this is a

lot to take in it's deeply unsettling

you might feel anger denial or sadness

hearing these things schopenhau's intent

wasn't to make you hate women nor is

this video's intent but to open your

eyes think of it like yanking someone

out of a pleasant dream because the

house is on fire the dream was lovely

but reality must be faced to avoid

disaster what now should one then avoid

women avoid love and live in cynical

isolation schopenhauer himself chose a

life of bachelorhood and intellectual

pursuit wary of entanglements he even

admired those who renounced worldly

desires altogether monks sages as truly

wise but you must find your own

path the purpose of this philosophical

wake-up call is not necessarily to tell

you not to love it is to ensure that you

love or not love with a clear mind

see the truth then decide how to act the

sobering empowering truth is this

romantic love is not a divine magic that

will complete you it is a powerful

natural instinct that can just as easily

destroy you if you are ignorant of its

nature women are neither goddesses nor

pure evil they are human beings driven

by natural imperatives just as men are

your happiness is not their priority it

is nature's priority that is often at

work once you grasp this you can

approach relationships and life with a

new

mindset clarity no more blind

idolization you see your partner as a

flawed real person you understand your

own intense feelings as part of an

instinctual drive which helps you keep a

level head even when you feel

passion boundaries you can love someone

and share your life but you won't

abandon your self-respect or life goals

you won't let the relationship consume

your identity or

rationality caution you will be careful

about commitments marriage children

these are serious lifealtering matters

don't be led into them solely by surging

emotions or social pressure consider

them with open eyes is this what I truly

want or what my biology/s society is

pushing me to

want

resilience if love ends or a woman

betrays you you will hurt but you will

not be utterly shocked as if the

universe imploded you will recognize it

as part of the human condition you can

pick up the pieces and rebuild wiser now

not fooled twice by the same

illusion

purpose beyond chasing

women free from the constant obsession

of needing love to be whole you might

find more time and energy for other

pursuits creative projects friendships

personal growth even spiritual

exploration he channeled his energy into

those as they were more reliable sources

of meaning than the chase of

romance schopenhau's ultimate message is

one of awakening it is as if he's

shaking men by the shoulders and saying

"Look around you see things as they are

don't be a slave to a game you don't

even realize is being played." Yes the

truth is cold yes it stings to admit

that what we cherished might be a grand

evolutionary con but there is also a

strange freedom in it if love is a game

nature plays you can learn the rules you

can choose how or if you will play you

might still choose to marry and have

children but you'll do so fully aware of

what it entails eyes open to the

sacrifices and the fact that you are

fulfilling a natural drive not living a

fairy

tale or you might choose a different

route perhaps relationships without the

legal bindings or periods of celibacy to

focus on other things or a partnership

but with a mutual understanding free of

illusion the point is once awakened you

are no longer blindly led by a carrot on

a stick you can steer your own life

schopenhau's philosophy is often labeled

pessimistic indeed he believed that by

seeing through life's illusions

including love we can attain a kind of

philosophical peace not a happiness

exactly but a relief like a man who

steps out of a foolish sherard he

doesn't promise a rosy alternative but

he does free you from false hopes that

lead to pain and perhaps that freedom is

the first step toward finding real

meaning and contentment built on truth

rather than

deception at the end of this journey we

return to our heartbroken man or perhaps

your own heart if you've been through

the ringer of love you now have a choice

will you continue to live in the

comfortable dream repeating the cycle of

infatuation and despair letting nature

yank your chain or will you heed the

warning that Schopenhau gave and break

free of the

spell men Schopenhau warned us loudly

and clearly "Do not let it fall on deaf

ears again." "The next time you find

yourself mesmerized by a beautiful face

or a surge of passion remember these

words remember that something ancient

and impersonal is working within you

pause and let clear reason have a say

alongside your heart protect yourself

from the snares set in your path this

doesn't mean you cannot love but love

knowingly love without

delusion if you choose to engage in

romance do so as an awake player of the

game not a blind porn and if you choose

to walk away from the game let it be out

of strength and wisdom not

bitterness in the end Schopenhaur offered

brutal clarity as a gift to help us see

it's a gift soaked in cynicism yet it

can save a man from ruin it can

transform heartache into insight the

truth will set you free but first it

will shock you wake up brothers see

women for what they are wonderful and

flawed mortals driven by nature not

magical creatures see love for what it

is intense and real in feeling but

ultimately a means to an end for nature

and most importantly see yourself not as

a lovesick fool at the mercy of

biological drives but as a man who can

rise above them with

understanding arthur Schopenhaur sounded

the alarm in his time and few listened

they dismissed him as a crank a

misogynist a joyless

pessimist but look around now broken

families disillusioned men confusion and

pain everywhere from failed romances his

words ring truer than ever we ignore

them at our peril the illusion is

powerful yes now you have the antidote

the knowledge the brutal truth that cuts

through the haze the rest is up to you

will you be led by nature's nose ring or

will you take the reigns of your own

destiny the final sobering thought

Schopenhau leaves us if men truly acted

with clear reason instead of illusion

would the human race even

continue he thought probably not perhaps

it's too much to ask men to renounce the

illusion entirely nature's pull is

strong but even if we don't all become

aesthetics we can be

wiser let Schopenhau's voice be the one

in your head that whispers the truth

when you need it it's a trick steady

yourself let his clarity be your armor

against foolish choices and emotional

ruin in that way his warning finally

will not fall on deaf ears men you have

been warned now awaken and choose your

path with eyes open will you heed the

warning or will nature's siren song lull

you back to sleep the choice and its

consequences are yours