I don't have Social Media because I refuse to conform to join the Masses of Zombie Nation

All man's history wrote Norman Cousins

is an endeavor to shatter his loneliness

in today's world with all the

technologies built to connect us

loneliness one would think would be

easily shattered but the more we get

drawn into the virtual worlds of social

media the worse we tend to feel to

account for this it is suggested that

the medium is the problem we have become

over reliant on connecting through our

devices at the expense of more

traditional ways of social interaction

but while there is likely some truth to

this assertion we are

going to put forth the argument that it

is an inner emptiness or the lack of a

well-defined ineffectual sense of self

that is the root cause of the loneliness

experienced by so many in our day one

sense of self can be seen as existing on

a spectrum on the one side of the

spectrum are those with a strong sense

of self such people feel they have a

place in the world they know what they

want with their lives and they take the

necessary actions to move in the

direction of their goals on the other

side of the spectrum are those with a

weak sense of self these are the empty

men and women such individuals lack a

clear conception of what they want with

their life they have no long term goals

around which to structure their days and

so they feel powerless to positively

influence their situation these people

tend to drift through life in a passive

manner they follow the path of least

resistance and are often crippled by

existential doubts this problem of

emptiness which now afflicts so many in

the West is a symptom of a society in a

period of flux for oneself hood or lack

thereof is influenced by the social

structures of one's day in the West many

of the institution's which in the past

help people find their place in the

world have fallen to the wayside the

decline of Christianity for example has

left the West lacking a religious or

cultural myth to which people can turn

to in order to find a place in this

world in a meaning to their life the

growth of the state has also been a

force which has contributed to this

pathology of emptiness for the rise of

the state has led to the destruction of

smaller communities and the degradation

of the family unit which for millennia

have been integral forces in the

development of one's self hood but what

has really exacerbated this problem for

the younger generations are unfavorable

economic conditions for even if one

struggled to find a deeper meaning

their life in the mid-to-late 20th

century at least one could fall back on

the so-called American Dream and by

establishing a stable career purchasing

a home and raising a family one could

develop a more or less adequate sense of

self but for the most part this dream is

dead and the confluence of all these

forces has created a society full of

hollow men and women a society inflicted

by a pathology of emptiness is also a

society full of anxiety ridden

individuals for if we feel ourselves to

be powerless to exert control over our

life and uncertain of our ability to

face up to the challenges of our

environment then anxiety is a natural

response and for the hollow man this

anxiety is most strongly felt during

periods of Solitude if we have no other

people around to lean on or to distract

us than our thoughts turn inward and

this leads the hollow among us to become

aware of their inner void therefore

unlike an individual with a strong and

individuated sense of self for whom

periods of Solitude can be rejuvenating

solitude for the hollow man is

experienced as a painful loneliness and

something he must flee from in

generations past the hollow man would

turn to the comfort and security of

friends and family or take part in

social events to avoid the anxiety that

was triggered in times of solitude but

in the present day we don't even need to

leave the comfort of our home to find

the social connections necessary to

block out awareness of our emptiness

instead we merely need to turn to the

comforting glow of our phones and

immerse ourselves in the virtual worlds

of social media we can even go as far as

to construct a pseudo self to mask over

our empty nature by selectively posting

bits of information about our life

online we can pretend to be someone we

are not and feed off the social

validation offered by the others who

participate in this game this defensive

mechanism used by the hollow man or

woman whereby they flee to the comfort

of the crowd to avoid the anxiety

triggered in times of solitude is also

utilized by pre-psychotic individuals in

the attempt to avoid a psychotic break

in his book interpretation of

schizophrenia

Silvano Arrietty describes how this

process unfolds in the case of

schizophrenic s' in some cases writes

Arrietty schizophrenia starts with a

period of confusion excitement and

agitation the patient seems to

eager to make contacts to reach all the

people he knows to reconnect himself

with what seems to be an escaping world

he searches for something that he cannot

find what the schizophrenic is searching

for is also what the hollow man lacks a

secure sense of self in its extreme form

writes the psychologist Rollo May this

fear of losing oneself is the fear of

psychosis the outward turned to the

security of the social world usually

fails to protect one on the cusp of a

psychotic break and so too does the

outward turn to the world of social

media ultimately failed to protect the

hollow man from his anxiety and

loneliness this solution is like placing

a bandaid on a gunshot wound as the

social validation that is gained through

social media use is as empty as the

people who granted for as Rollo may

noted in his book man's search for

himself the hollow among us are bound to

become more lonely no matter how much

they lean together for hollow people do

not have a base from which to learn to

love but what makes this defense against

emptiness particularly harmful is that

it prevents people from taking the

necessary steps to address their lack of

a self the human being wrote may cannot

live in a condition of emptiness for

very long if he is not growing toward

something he does not merely stagnate

the pent-up potentialities turn into

morbidity and despair and eventually

into destructive activities the true

antidote to an inner emptiness is to

discover what we truly want with our

life and to take the actions necessary

to bring that self and life into

existence to accomplish this we must be

willing to face up to our loneliness and

the anxiety which accompanies it for

loneliness as Edward Ettinger put it in

his book ego in the archetype is a

precursor to the positive experience of

aloneness and it is in periods of

aloneness that we can begin to learn who

we are and what we want with our life

this process is epitomized by the

archetype of the hero's journey or as

Joseph Campbell explains the call is to

leave a certain social situation move

into your own loneliness and find the

jewel the center that's impossible to

find when you're socially engaged this

is the departure when the hero feels

something has been lost and goes to find

it the first step detachment or

withdrawal consists in a radical

transfer of emphasis from the

to the internal world a retreat from the

desperations of the wasteland to the

peace of the everlasting realm that is

within but this realm as we know from

psychoanalysis is precisely the

infantile unconscious it is the realm

that we enter in sleep we carry it

within ourselves forever all the life

potentialities that we never managed to

bring to adult realization those other

portions of ourselves are there for such

golden seeds do not die facing up to our

aloneness and cultivating the golden

seeds of our being is no easy task

as it requires that we take the bold

step of diminishing our need for social

validation for to develop a strong sense

of self we must distinguish ourselves

psychologically from our peers each of

us is unique we have different and they

talents likes and dislikes and so as we

strengthen our sense of self it is

inevitable that we will become less like

those around us but we must not think

that this process will turn us into

outsiders who reject the social world

rather those who cultivate a strong

sense of self only improve their social

skills and enrich their relationships

for a person who possesses the inner

strength associated with a well-defined

self will not be held back in their

social interactions by anxiety or the

need for validation instead a strong

sense of self will free us to behave

with spontaneity which is one of the

most attractive of human characteristics

and as the etymology of the word implies

acting spontaneously means acting in

accordance with our will something that

is only possible after we have developed

a strong sense of self if we dare to

take this journey not everyone will

approve in some of the people who we

considered friends may even treat us

with disdain for to see a man move

beyond the chains of his emptiness only

makes the hollow man more aware of his

barren nature whereas Nietzsche wrote in

the spoke zarathustra injustice and

filth they throw after the lonely one

but my brother if you would be a star

you must not shine less for them because

of that and beware of the good and the

just they like to crucify those who

invent their own virtue for themselves

they hate the lonely one

you