Excellence withers without an adversary

life deals us an abundance of obstacles

and adversities and

so one would think the mere passage of

time would teach us how to profitably

deal with the challenges that cross our

path but time only teaches the willing

and therefore many of us are sorely

unprepared for life one of the main

culprits for this weakness in the modern

day is the proliferation of a victim

mentality being a victim is now looked

upon as a badge of honor

but if we wish to flourish and become

what Nietzsche called the true helmsman

of our existence we need to separate

ourselves from this powerless spirit of

the age assume responsibility for our

life and learn to face up to what is

presented to us to achieve this feat

psychological resilience is crucial we

must learn how to emerge from the

challenges of life not weaker and more

apathetic as the perpetual victim does

but stronger and wiser or as the ancient

stoic philosopher Epictetus explained

every difficulty in life presents us

with an opportunity to turn inward into

invoke our own submerged inner resources

the trials we endure can and should

introduce us to our strengths dig deeply

you possess strengths you might not

realize you have find the right one use

it in cultivating resilience it is

necessary to discard the belief that it

is better to avoid obstacles due to the

stress they evoke for as psychologists

are discovering not all forms of stress

are equal some in fact are crucial

components of a flourishing mind and

body the latest science rites Kelly

McGonigal in the upside of stress

reveals that stress can make you smarter

stronger and more successful it helps

you learn and grow whether the stress in

our life is harmful or beneficial

depends on how we respond to it if we

believe the barriers before us too

burdensome and a threat to our

well-being the stress they evoke is

detrimental to our health but if we

adopt a challenge response perceiving

them as problems to solve in pursuit of

success and growth the stress we

experience acts as a constructive

companion it spurs us to action many

Coping with adversity

people dream of living a stress-free

life but in reality such a life would be

unbearably boring to flourish we should

not avoid hardship in

we should adopt a more competitive

attitude towards our existence

a life of agon as the ancient Greeks

called it and in whatever domains we

devote ourselves to our goal should be

excellence living in this manner will

call forth an abundance of challenges in

hence the type of meaningful stress and

struggle we need to feel life is worth

living or as the writer and physician

Boris Cyril Nik wrote the worst form of

stress is an absence of stress because

the feeling that there is no life before

death gives rise to a despairing feeling

of emptiness in the face of the void but

resilience is not just a matter of

seeking out stress and struggle in the

service of meaningful ends we must also

learn to cope with the more severe forms

of adversity which no one in their right

mind voluntarily invites into life while

we like to believe that cruel twists of

fate happen only to others the longer we

live the more likely it becomes that

such a time will befall us it would be

ideal if Nietzsche saying that which

does not kill you makes you stronger

were true for everyone but severe

adversity tends to destroy more people

than it elevates so how can we be one of

the few who are not battered and broken

by the more distressing periods of life

one technique we can use to gain this

type of resilience is what the Stoics

called premeditation of Evil's rather

than living with a naive optimism that

everything will work out in the end

we should periodically meditate on

losing the things we cherish most they

thought that if we make a habit of

visualizing career or relationship

failure sickness betrayal or even death

we will become akin to the king who

fortifies his kingdom from invasion over

time we will develop a psychological

Armour to help us endure the hardships

of life he Rob's present ills of their

power who has perceived their coming

before hand-wrote Seneca or as he

further explained everyone approaches a

danger with more courage if he has

prepared in advance how to confront it

anyone can endure difficulties better if

he has previously practiced how to deal

with them people who are unprepared can

be unhinged by even the smallest of

things

Cultivating resilience

many shy away from this practice

believing that meditating on the dark

side of life will breed a dark pessimism

for after all isn't it better to remain

on the sunnier side of life while it is

common in our day to assume this not all

cultures have adhered to this view in

fact two of the golden ages of history

ancient Athens and Elizabeth and England

were times infused with a tragic sense

of life as the 20th century classicist

Edith Hamilton noted they had a lucid

awareness that human life is bound up

with evil and that injustice is of the

nature of things yet despite their

proclivity to meditate on the evils of

existence these ages were also permeated

with great productivity and a lust for

life it appears that in becoming aware

and more accepting of the darker

possibilities of life we not only

cultivate resilience but also become

more fully alive for as Edith Hamilton

explained what these two periods had in

common 2,000 years and more apart in

time may give us some hint of the nature

of tragedy for far from being periods of

darkness and defeat each was a time when

life was seen exalted a time of

thrilling unlimited and unfathomable

possibilities the world was a place of

wonder mankind was beauteous life was

lived on the crest of the wave more than

all the poignant joy of heroism had

stirred men's hearts not stuff for

tragedy would you say but on the crest

of the wave one must feel either

tragically or joyously one cannot feel

tamely developing resilience is clearly

not for the faint of heart but neither

is much of life thus to give ourselves

the best chance of not just enduring but

thriving we should resist of the

temptations of victimhood and try to

behave more like a philosopher in the

ancient sense to be a philosopher wrote

Henry David Thoreau is not merely to

have subtle thoughts nor even to found a

school it is to solve some of the

problems of life not only theoretically

but practically

for perhaps the most critical problem of

life is how to remain strong and

affirmative amidst life's many burdens

and blows and to solve this problem not

only wisdom but the cultivation of

resilience is required or as the ancient

stoic epictetus advised take example

from the wrestling masters as the boy

fallin down get up again they say

wrestle again until you have made

yourself strong that's the sort of

attitude you should have for both ruin

and salvation have their source within