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“Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one’s self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily; and why older persons, especially if vain or important, cannot learn at all.'“
-Thomas Szasz
The Preparation program has brought me through numerous experiences in which I was completely ignorant - no knowledge and no skills. It’s never been easy being in that situation, especially doing it over and over again. You’re essentially coming to the table with nothing to offer but a willingness to learn.
It’s gotten easier, but there was a time when being one hundred percent fresh to something was wildly uncomfortable…
Actually, the first thing that comes to mind was the time I went to a wrangler school in Wyoming last year. I had already learned how to ride a horse from our previous casero who spoke such bad Spanish his wife could hardly understand him.
At times I could infer what he was saying, but the real learning came from just watching him ride.
Other than that basic understanding of how to ride a horse and push cattle, I knew hardly anything about horses, and that’s part of the reason why I went to the wrangler school.
In some ways having what little knowledge I had about actually riding horses made the experience more uncomfortable. I knew more about riding than all of the other students, but I also knew that all of my knowledge came from observation without clarification or explanation behind it.
Plus, many people are very particular about how they ride and train horses. It seems everyone has their own way of doing things.
So, when I got there it was as if I was learning it all from scratch, but there was also the potential to receive more criticism from my prior experience. Because of what I knew (and all that I didn’t know) I was worried about looking like a fool.
The eyes of greatly more experienced people were on me, and when I didn’t know something I assumed they were judging me for it (I doubt they were).
Specifically, there was one time before a ride where they watched us saddle the horses to make sure we did it properly. I had never saddled a western saddle myself since we don’t have them in Uruguay, but still, I assumed (for some odd reason) that I should know how to do it. So, when I saddled the horse and put the back cinch on before the front one and was called out for it, I was embarrassed.
For context, you’re supposed to tie the front cinch first so its secured to the horse before you tie the back cinch.
If your horse freaked out for whatever reason while only the back cinch was tied it could buck, kick, and damage the saddle since it wouldn’t be secured to the horse. With the front cinch on it has a better chance of staying in place if the horse bucks while you’re saddling it.
Now, in retrospect that doesn’t seem like anything to get worked up about, but it’s a perfect example of clear fear of looking like a fool.
’s a fear I’ve had to deal with many times throughout The Preparation. I faced it in EMT school, on wildfires, at a rope rescue course, on the ranch, in BJJ class…Whenever I try something new I always know that I’m going to look like an idiot at one point or another. And, even after trying so many knew things in the past year, I’ve never been able to fully escape the fear of looking like a fool.
Here’s the thing: You can’t escape it. You can only build resilience to it.
The question of how to build resilience to it isn’t as straightforward as it may seem. Yes, much of the resilience you build comes from simply putting yourself in the position of potentially looking like a fool again and again. However, the aspect that matters just as much is the mental framework you maintain during stressful situations.
A lot of people will tell you that the only way to get past this fear is to not care about what people think.
I believe that this is a misinterpretation of the whole truth - not caring about what people think is only a fraction of the core idea. You see, when you constantly concentrate on not caring about what people think, you end up getting the opposite result. It puts you in an unproductive state of mind where you’re focus is not on the task at hand but on other people.
The whole, “I don’t care what other people think” thing is counterproductive. It’s such a negative state of mind.
To let the fear of looking like a fool pass over you, you have to desire to achieve something important enough to you that it triumphs over fear. At that point, to look like a fool isn’t crippling but something necessary in order to move towards achievement.
So yes, it isn’t about other people or their potential criticisms. It’s about knowing what you need to do and why you’re doing it.
All negatives fade away when that becomes your focus.
Below is a list of my accomplishments over the past year. I’ve looked like a fool many times, there’s no doubt about that. But, using that fear has only allowed for greater accomplishments. Put yourself directly in fear, stick it out, and pass through the other side to find pure gold.
My more notable accomplishments over the past year:
- Learned basic conversational Spanish. French. German(and still improving)
What have you done?
I’ve found this quote from Marcus Aurelius to be a perfect example for what it means to face the fear of looking like a fool:
“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”
Look like a foolPart of the path to progress
“Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one’s self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily; and why older persons, especially if vain or important, cannot learn at all.'“ -Thomas Szasz The Preparation program has brought me through numerous experiences in which I was completely ignorant - no knowledge and no skills. It’s never been easy being in that situation, especially doing it over and over again. You’re essentially coming to the table with nothing to offer but a willingness to learn. It’s gotten easier, but there was a time when being one hundred percent fresh to something was wildly uncomfortable… Actually, the first thing that comes to mind was the time I went to a wrangler school in Wyoming last year. I had already learned how to ride a horse from our previous casero who spoke such bad Spanish his wife could hardly understand him. At times I could infer what he was saying, but the real learning came from just watching him ride. Other than that basic understanding of how to ride a horse and push cattle, I knew hardly anything about horses, and that’s part of the reason why I went to the wrangler school. In some ways having what little knowledge I had about actually riding horses made the experience more uncomfortable. I knew more about riding than all of the other students, but I also knew that all of my knowledge came from observation without clarification or explanation behind it. Plus, many people are very particular about how they ride and train horses. It seems everyone has their own way of doing things. So, when I got there it was as if I was learning it all from scratch, but there was also the potential to receive more criticism from my prior experience. Because of what I knew (and all that I didn’t know) I was worried about looking like a fool. The eyes of greatly more experienced people were on me, and when I didn’t know something I assumed they were judging me for it (I doubt they were). Specifically, there was one time before a ride where they watched us saddle the horses to make sure we did it properly. I had never saddled a western saddle myself since we don’t have them in Uruguay, but still, I assumed (for some odd reason) that I should know how to do it. So, when I saddled the horse and put the back cinch on before the front one and was called out for it, I was embarrassed. For context, you’re supposed to tie the front cinch first so its secured to the horse before you tie the back cinch. If your horse freaked out for whatever reason while only the back cinch was tied it could buck, kick, and damage the saddle since it wouldn’t be secured to the horse. With the front cinch on it has a better chance of staying in place if the horse bucks while you’re saddling it. Now, in retrospect that doesn’t seem like anything to get worked up about, but it’s a perfect example of clear fear of looking like a fool. It’s a fear I’ve had to deal with many times throughout The Preparation. I faced it in EMT school, on wildfires, at a rope rescue course, on the ranch, in BJJ class…Whenever I try something new I always know that I’m going to look like an idiot at one point or another. And, even after trying so many knew things in the past year, I’ve never been able to fully escape the fear of looking like a fool. Here’s the thing: You can’t escape it. You can only build resilience to it. The question of how to build resilience to it isn’t as straightforward as it may seem. Yes, much of the resilience you build comes from simply putting yourself in the position of potentially looking like a fool again and again. However, the aspect that matters just as much is the mental framework you maintain during stressful situations. A lot of people will tell you that the only way to get past this fear is to not care about what people think. I believe that this is a misinterpretation of the whole truth - not caring about what people think is only a fraction of the core idea. You see, when you constantly concentrate on not caring about what people think, you end up getting the opposite result. It puts you in an unproductive state of mind where you’re focus is not on the task at hand but on other people. The whole, “I don’t care what other people think” thing is counterproductive. It’s such a negative state of mind. To let the fear of looking like a fool pass over you, you have to desire to achieve something important enough to you that it triumphs over fear. At that point, to look like a fool isn’t crippling but something necessary in order to move towards achievement. So yes, it isn’t about other people or their potential criticisms. It’s about knowing what you need to do and why you’re doing it. All negatives fade away when that becomes your focus. Below is a list of my accomplishments over the past year. I’ve looked like a fool many times, there’s no doubt about that. But, using that fear has only allowed for greater accomplishments. Put yourself directly in fear, stick it out, and pass through the other side to find pure gold. My more notable accomplishments over the past year: - Learned basic conversational Spanish (and still improving) - Became a Certified EMT - Became a certified wildland firefighter - Read dozens of books on economics, philosophy, sales, marketing and personal development along with essays and historical speeches - Attended a Wrangler school in Wyoming - Worked as a ranch hand on a regenerative cattle ranch - Learned to operate farm equipment - Learned to shoe horses -Learned the basics of horsemanship -Learned how to inspect and treat cattle -Learned basics of accounting - Completed Copywriting Course - Worked for 26 as an EMT on the 2024 Falls Fire in Oregon - Wrote - Regular practice of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and recently added Muay Thai - Climbed 4 Fourteeners in Colorado - Learned how to pack mules and lead them into the backcountry - Finished closed-water scuba dive - Did my first (tandem) skydiving jump - Wrote 40+ essays - Spent 100s of hours practicing to be competent in chess. Had private lessons with a chess master -Completed a REMS (Rapid Extrication Module Support) course in South Dakota (Learned how to rappel, create raising systems, build lowering systems, and give and receive coordinates) -Learned how to tie a variety of knots and hitches -Became a public notary in Colorado -Rock climbed for the first time -Completed a motorcycle driving course -Worked 2 menial jobs (Office Depot and Westside Pizza) -Worked for 15 days on the Willamette fire complex in Oregon as an EMT -Completed 3 open water scuba dives I’ve found this quote from Marcus Aurelius to be a perfect example for what it means to face the fear of looking like a fool:
The fear is an opportunity. Not something to be avoided. |
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